The Inexplicable Being That Is Harry Potter
by The Lady Rogue
Summary: Three Death Eaters have escaped from Azkaban, and Potter's been missing since. Draco thought he might kill whomever came up with the bright idea that he should be assigned to the case.


All of the Ministry employees were running around like headless chickens, and it was Potter's damn fault. It always was, one way or another, but this time Draco liked to think he could safely place the blame on Potter's shoulders without sounding like an 'obsessed delusional fanatic' as Pansy so politely put it. The problem was that three Death Eaters had escaped Azkaban, and Potter had been missing for the three days since. Even the Minister seemed worried, which Draco had rarely seen since the end of the war. Now, it was Potter's damn fault he was in the Minister's office, being assigned with finding him.

"How do you expect me to do that?" Draco asked in the politest voice he could possibly muster. He had passed Auror training, and then realised chasing around ex-associates of his father was more effort than restoring the Malfoy name was worth, and promptly relegated himself to becoming the Ministry's best Potions Master instead. Still, he had Auror training, and that was why he was there.

"Aren't there potions you can use to track a person down?" Shacklebolt asked. Draco pressed his lips together. So bloody typical.

"There are, but they would require Potter's blood, and regardless, they're illegal." Draco said. Shacklebolt grimaced and for a moment Draco thought he was about to authorise their use anyway. Then he shook his head.

"Just go about it the traditional way. Ask around the department and his friends. Weasley was his partner until he took paternity leave last month, he might help." Draco nodded and exited the room before he could shout. Assign the damn ex-Death Eater to the Death Eater case. That's what they were really doing. Despite the lack of evidence everybody thought there was a correlation between the two disappearances.

He walked into his office, had a nice calming cup of tea then walked back out again. Weasley was his first destination. He got the man's floo address from records, then called through.

He glanced around Weasley's living room while the floo bell chimed. Hermione bustled in, paused in shock upon seeing his face, then rolled her eyes.

"Hello Draco, I'll open it up for you." She waved her wand and Draco retreated so he could walk all the way through.

"Malfoy." He was greeted upon arrival with a nod from Weasley.

"Weasley." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Oh stop it the two of you. When will you get around to using first names?" He exchanged a grimace with Weasley. He and Hermione worked reasonably close together as she often needed potions for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and after her insistence on first names he had come to accept that she was bearable, but that didn't mean he needed to be friends with her husband. He took a seat at the kitchen table that she'd led them to, and accepted a mediocre cup of tea.

"So what's this about?" Weasley asked. Draco huffed. Hermione had left them to 'work' while she fussed over the last member to the family, Hugo.

"Potter's gone missing." Weasley laughed. Draco stared at him.

"Stupid sod." Weasley muttered. "What's he done now?" Draco explained about the escape from Azkaban and the subsequent disappearance of Potter. They'd so far managed to keep it out the papers, but it was getting harder. Weasley shook his head, his eyes bright with mirth.

"Frankly he deserves all this fuss. It'll teach him not to do it again." Draco raised an eyebrow, demanding an explanation for that peculiar statement. "We've been partners for six years, right?"

"Yes…"

"Sometimes, when Harry gets a lead, or a feeling in his gut, he just acts on instinct, and forgets to tell anybody about what he's doing. He's used to it, after all those years in school where the teachers did fuck all to help us. So after the first few times of him scaring me to death we just kinda accepted it. It's never for more than about a week, and he's always been fine. There's nothing we can do to stop him, so it seems pointless to worry about it." Draco gaped at him.

"He can't just do that!" He finally exclaimed. Weasley shrugged.

"I generally cover for him. Who's his partner this week? Must be a newbie." It was.

"Gipson." Weasley scoffed.

"That explains it. Most of the old crew know not to worry about it unless I do." Draco couldn't believe what he was hearing. Potter practically did his own thing, and they actually left him to it.

"But that's so dangerous." He said.

"Ah. You've fallen into the Harry Potter trap of thinking that because he doesn't seem different he's not." Draco crossed his arms.

"Really." He said dryly.

"Really. What people don't realise is Harry's actually stupidly powerful. He hides it away unless he needs it cos it makes people nervous when they realise how much power he's got. It was a side effect of living with a part of Voldie's soul for 17 years and then dying and coming back to life." Draco blinked. That was certainly different than the official story. He also noted proudly that he hadn't cringed at Weasley's butchering of the Dark Lord's name.

"Potter died?" He asked, then the shook his head. "That's not the point. He's one man, he's not infallible." Weasley nodded, a smug grin on his face.

"I know. So we microchipped him." Draco was certain the look of incredulous shock upon his face was unbecoming of a Malfoy but he couldn't find it within himself to care.

"You microchipped him." He whispered. "Like a dog." Weasley snorted with laughter.

"Yeah. He's doesn't know though, so don't tell him. And it'll only activate if he's in mortal peril."

"How would you know?" He demanded. Weasley jabbed his thumb at the grandfather clock Draco had taken one look at and dismissed.

"That clock will tell us if he's in danger. It works a bit like the old pureblood tapestries, where it adds a hand when someone's added to the family." Draco stood to inspect it. On it were several hands recording each member of the Weasley family's location, with Potter, Hermione, and Weasley's two spawn added.

"Fascinating." He mumbled. Potter's hand was currently pointing at 'work'.

"I am going to kill Harry Potter." He said aloud. Nothing changed. Weasley snorted.

"Yeah, Harry gets so many death threats it only changes when he's in actual physical mortal peril. Otherwise it would hover there all the time. Took a while to sort that out, it did." Then, while he was staring at the clock, Potter's hand moved to 'home'.

"Alright Ron!" Potter hollered from the other room as the front door slammed. Weasley grinned.

"Told you." He said. Potter stomped into the room and Draco could see what Weasley meant about Potter's power. It was intoxicating and disturbingly reminiscent of the Dark Lord's.

"Hey Draco." Potter said amiably when he caught sight of him. Unlike the Dark Lord, however, Potter reeled his power in, rather than pushing it out. Draco felt like he could breathe again.

"You would not believe the week I've had." Potter said, slumping into a chair and waving his hand. The tea set danced over to him and poured him some tea. He shed his outer robe, shaking his head and his messy hair flopped in front of his eyes. He brushed it away and grinned at Draco.

"But you first. Didn't expect to see you here." Potter was an enigma to Draco. He'd saved Draco and his mother from Azkaban, returned his wand, and been friendly all throughout their eight year. Apparently he'd had enough of fighting, or so he said. He'd offered the hand of a tentative friendship, and Draco just didn't understand why. He'd accepted it, of course, because he'd be crazy not to.

"I was looking for you." Draco said. Potter rolled his eyes.

"Bloody hell. Shacklebolt was all up in arms about me disappearing for a few days. I had to tell him I'd been kidnapped." Draco choked on his drink. Potter grinned.

"To be fair, I had, but it was on purpose." Draco resolved to not take another sip of tea until Potter had finished his story.

"So I heard about Dolohov, Yaxley and Brixtons' escape from Azkaban, and Brixton's speciality is necromancy, so I thought, they're probably trying to bring back Voldemort, right?" Draco swayed in his seat and hoped he wouldn't faint.

"So I placed myself obviously in Hogsmede, and made it easy for them to take me down, which they did. Cos I figured they weren't working alone if they escaped Azkaban. And they weren't." Potter grimaced.

"Marcus Wilson's corrupt." He said. Weasley gave him a commiserating expression. Draco, frankly, wasn't surprised. He'd always seemed shifty.

"Anyway. They went through the whole bloody ritual of offering their bodies to Voldemort, using his father's bones and my blood, and brought him back to life. Yaxley let himself be possessed, the tosser. I was wearing dampening cuffs at that moment, or I'd have stopped it before they began. But they weren't sacrificing anyone innocent so I thought I'd leave them be." Draco's jaw dropped.

"And if they had? What would you have done then?" Potter shrugged.

"Probably over powered the dampening cuffs." Which was impossible by definition. "I've done it before, but it leaves me pretty exhausted so I thought I'd see what happened first." It should have been impossible.

"Then?" Weasley asked. Potter laughed.

"Merlin but Voldemort's a bloody moron. He was all like 'take off the cuffs' and 'now we shall duel', it's like he thinks it's honourable." Draco sipped his tea. He needed something to focus on other than the sentence 'Voldemort's a bloody moron'.

"So, they took the cuffs off, I stunned the four of them, took back my wand and banished Voldemort back to the land of the dead. Yaxley didn't survive, unfortunately, but the others are sitting in Azkaban, and we've plugged the hole in the security." Draco didn't quite know what to say to that.

"You're insane." He settled on finally. Potter smirked. Weasley flicked Potter's ear.

"Tosser."

"Takes one to know one." Draco huffed, and got to his feet.

"I have to get back to the Ministry. At least you no longer have to be found." Potter sniggered.

"Yeah sorry about that." Draco nodded. "By the way, I didn't tell them the part about Voldemort being temporarily back, because it would cause widespread panic. Would you mind keeping a lid on that, please?" It was a heady rush being trusted with Potter's secrets. He nodded once more.

"See you around, Draco." Potter called as he stepped into the floo. Draco shuddered, and walked straight to his office. He sat down, and stared at his clasped hands, composing himself. Voldemort's a bloody moron indeed. And Potter, well, Potter was a conundrum that had just gotten more interesting.


End file.
